A Note on Failing

Don't use sentiments in reading this note

Hey, my fellow earth surjouner,

If you are reading this on a chill Saturday evening, doxology to you. If you are not, I wonder why. So, today I will be writing a very honest note to you on failing. I promised you honest notes, and that’s what I will be delivering to you. I started writing this in November 2023, but it is hitting your mail in July 2025. It makes me happy because I have learnt much more in that 1 year and 8 months. I really do know a lot about the topic now than I did when I first started the draft. For extra context, this note started from receiving what we Gen Zs call breakfast. So you can imagine how my mind was then. If I had sent this then, it would be one blind man leading another blind man into a ditch. I have gained perspective and learnt not to live life governed by emotions. Yes, I will cry here and there, but as I once told myself after a hot breakfast, after you don cry you suppose see road well.

i have lost…

I started 2025 full of hope and a rejigged vision, but I won’t sit here and tell you that I have not seen those hopes dashed against big, hard rocks on a beach. It is amazing how in the first quarter of the year, it was like I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. at a point, I had to stop, pause and then breathe. This time around, I wasn’t perplexed by what was happening. Trust me, I am a good Christian; I prayed, sang, worshipped, and fasted. I did everything. But then, I learnt something.

Things like this happen to build you.

I sat that day in church and was like shey holy spirit dey whine me ni?

Then, I learnt further that contrary situations happen to build us for what we are expecting. It is to train us to be resilient.

Back to my breakfast story, at that point, I went from saying no more love to 'men are scum’ to saying, 'You know what? If love comes, I will ignore my list and accept what I see. Then I said tufiakwa, better to be single than settle. I then went for an attempt at shooting my shoot. Me? How? Why? Today I am laughing about it all.

Like I will say to my friends and I as I sat today and thought, this current phase that I am in will pass, and I will jiggy up and laugh about it in the next 6 months. My 2025 was not meant to be about crying, and I can’t waste it being morose.

What do I advise?

Like your regular aspire to perspise merchant

1. You will fail. Yes. YOU. WILL. FAIL. Accept this. Pause Christianese for a while.

2. Learn to deal with it. You don’t have to accept it, and you shouldn’t make it your identity.

3. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Get into another fight for your life.

4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

5. You don’t have to win all the battles. Win the key ones, and you can win the war.

Failure is part of life. You should be learning from it

I will stop here and continue this in another note sometime in the future.

I hope this was honest enough.

a drop of honey for your day…